This Love Is A Drug
by shormarano
Summary: Ally Dawson is undeniably, head over heels, in love with her best friend and boyfriend, Austin Moon. But sometimes she wonders, is being too in love bad when you only have a certain amount of time?


There was a certain compulsion to love, I'd say. You're so obsessed and so dedicated with a person that it's almost as if you're under some sort of spell that's long-lasting. But is it wrong to be so in love with a person that you feel if you're not with them at every moment of everyday, that you'll die?

At the age of seventeen, I was found to be madly, yet, crazily, in love with my best friend, Austin Moon. Lots of things happened at the age of seventeen. Some being better than others. Austin though, was the best thing that had happened to me. Our relationship started as how most teenage relationships do. Girl meets boy, boy chases girl, girl gives in, they date. It all starts the same normally. Even if we started normally, our relationship is definitely not normal.

"Ally,"

"Yes?"

"I'm really, really hungry."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Feed me," he says in a deep voice which I assume is an impersonation of something, maybe someone.

I smile. "Come on, my big baby."

I get up and walk into my kitchen and pull the pancake mix out of the pantry before turning around to find Austin smiling while staring at me with this certain gleam in his eyes.

"What?" I ask as I start making the mix.

"I freaking love you."

I look back at him. He starts to smile really big so I assume that I'm blushing mad crazy. Oh who am I kidding, I know I'm blushing wildly. "And I love you,"

I start to cook the pancakes as he hums a song and taps his fingers against the counter. He's so cute. There's no flaw to him. I swear his face is bipolar though. One minute he's really hot, the next, cutest thing ever. It's weird. I honestly don't know how he does that. I wasn't even aware that it was possible.

I finish the three pancakes that are golden to perfection, before adding syrup and handing them to him. "You're welcome."

He leans up and quickly kisses me before sitting back down and getting ready to devour those pancakes.

Watching him eat made me think. I know that sounds really creepy but it's not if you're thinking about what I'm thinking.

What if I had never met Austin?

What would I be doing right now?

Would I be dating someone else?

I can't even answer any of those questions. I don't even have an idea for something I could possibly be doing. There's no one else I'd ever think about dating. Nothing in particular that I should be doing.

That to me, is a sign of being in love. I mean, I'm no doubt, insanely, in love with him. I sometimes feel as if it's impossible. Maybe this is all an illusion and I'll wake up any minute to find myself staring at a dark ceiling.

My life has changed drastically since Austin came into my life. Whether it was a good or bad change, it still affects what I'm doing right now.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Austin asking me if I was okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I stand up and try to walk away but am stopped abruptly but Austin grabbing me by the hand. I look down at our hands. He gives me this pained look before grabbing me by the waist and sitting me on his lap.

He puts his face into the crook of my neck. "Wanna tell me what's really wrong?"

I lean back. "Nothing really. I mean, I was just thinking about us."

"What about us? You mean, how cute we are?" he teases before kissing my cheek.

"Well that, and just how our relationship has grown."

"It really has. Pretty quickly too. I wouldn't change it for the world though."

I look back at him. "Neither would I."

We head back into the living room and resume our busy tasks of cuddling on the couch. Our relationship is different because it's not based on a lot of talking. Of course, that may seem to weird to like, anyone and everyone. But to us, it's completely normal. We love it.

We knew that this was a once in a lifetime love. That it wasn't going to last long. No matter how long a person lives, when you're in love, it feels like days go by in seconds and years go by in minutes.

At the age of seventeen, I was diagnosed with lung cancer.

I was dying.

It came as a shock to all of us. No one expected the perfect girl who loves life to be so unfortunate to get cancer. Let alone lung cancer.

I knew my time with Austin was short, he did too. I remember everything that happened when I told him as clear as day. It's as if his eyes got this clouded lens over them. Then he broke down.

He cried to me all night. Asking and pleading to God that it wasn't true. That he could take it back and make him the one with the cancer. Hearing him sobbing as much as I did, scarred me for life.

He's been to every single doctors appointment, whether he dreaded it or not. We all did.

Then the time had come. We had done chemo, my hair was nearly all gone.

I can still see the same look in his eye that I seen the night he told me he loved me.

"I don't deserve you," I mutter.

"I don't deserve you," he repeats.

"Why don't you just give up on me?"

"You're not worth giving up on."

1:51am. That was the time when his world came crashing down. The timer on my life was finally up, the curtains were fallen, it was over.

I was seventeen when I found myself to be madly in love with my best friend, Austin Moon.


End file.
